Depression vs. Sadness

As I mentioned in my last post, there seems to be a misunderstanding within our culture as to the difference between being sad and being depressed, and this misunderstanding creates a disconnect between those suffering from depression and the people they interact with on a daily basis (family members, friends, employers, teachers, etc). This disconnect is troublesome because it can create more stress for the depressed person since they find themselves constantly having to explain to people that what they’re feeling is not just sadness, it’s not something they can just snap out of. And if people don’t understand this it can have a negative impact on the depressed person, for example by ruining relationships or resulting in job loss and this just reinforces the person’s depression, digging them even deeper into their hole.

Depression is NOT sadness.

Unfortunately, when people feel really sad, they often say they feel depressed and this makes it confusing to differentiate between the two. Sadness is a temporary state of mind; a temporary mood. You may feel sad for a period of time, but the feeling eventually passes and you forget about it or it isn’t strong enough to affect your daily routine. Sadness is an emotional state. When you’re sad, for instance, if you’re experiencing the death of a loved one, you may cry a lot and feel grief, you may spend more time in bed, you may take a break from your normal rituals and just allow yourself to mourn for a few days, but even then, you can still function as a human being, it may be uncomfortable to go to work or cook your meals or socialize with others, but you have the ability to do so, you can still bring yourself to do these things if you have to.

Depression differs from sadness in that depression produces physical symptoms. People dealing with depression may experience heavy shoulders and other body aches and pains, they feel extremely fatigued, they have a loss of appetite, a loss of interest in activities once enjoyed, an inability to sleep or excessive sleeping or they may have a hard time concentrating no matter how hard they try. They have an extremely difficult time dealing with the minute details of daily life. It’s almost like having a cold or the flu but the symptoms never go away. And since these symptoms are constantly present, the person feels worse day after day. The depression prevents them from being themselves. Everything they used to take for granted now becomes a chore. The littlest of activities, such as showering or walking to get the mail become stressful and overwhelming and can cause a panic attack or mental breakdown in the depressed person because they are so frustrated that they can no longer perform these simple tasks. Depression is just a vicious cycle. People experience the physical symptoms and since they never let up the person starts to feel worse because they get frustrated with the way they’re feeling or they feel like a failure because they can’t function as they feel they should be able to. This causes them to just avoid socializing or going to work or participating in activities altogether because they’re so tired from the lack of sleep that they have no energy to do things or it’s easier for them to just not do them than it is for them to try and not succeed, thus reinforcing the feeling of failure.

It is important to recognize the difference between depression and sadness so people can understand that the depressed person is not just lazy, that it’s not their fault that they can’t do certain things that come so naturally to other people. Without this understanding, people may make comments such as “it’s not that hard, you can do it, you just have to try harder” or “you’d feel better if you just got up and did things”. Although the intentions behind these types of comments may be harmless, they only serve to reinforce the depression by making the depressed person feel inadequate or guilty that they’re not able to do things or cause them to give up trying because they’re told they should be able to control the symptoms but no matter what they do they can’t reduce the feelings of depression.

Depression is a medical condition. People may not feel like they can control the symptoms associated with depression, but with the support from people who understand and with a willingness to make changes in their lifestyle, the person does have the ability to make an impact on their way of life by reducing or eliminating symptoms and finding routines and solutions that work for them. Each approach is individual, you just have to go through the process of trial and error until you find what works best for you.