RIP Robin Williams

"You look at the world and see how scary it can be sometimes and still try to deal with the fear. Comedy can deal with the fear and still not paralyze you or tell you that it's going away. You say, okay, you got certain choices here, you can laugh at them and then once you've laughed at them and you have expunged the demon, now you can deal with them. That's what I do when I do my act."

Since this is a blog on depression and mental health, I see it fit to post a tribute to a man that many of us grew up with; an amazingly talented actor and comedian, a highly energetic and good humored man, someone who we could all count on to make us laugh - Robin Williams. 

On August 11, 2014 Robin Williams passed away due to apparent suicide following his struggle with severe depression. 

Williams has been open about his mental health issues, however his battle with depression came as a shock to many - how could someone whose purpose in life was to make others laugh, feel so sad inside? This just goes to show that we should respect each other and try to bring a little bit of happiness to other people's lives each day because we're all dealing with our own demons. Everyone has struggles that no one else knows about and we should be mindful of that in our interactions with others. 

I've read some criticisms online saying that Robin Williams was "too successful" to be depressed. This angers me. Depression is an illness and it can happen to anyone. Of course some people may be faced with a greater number of risk factors for depression depending on the quality of the life they live, but depression doesn't single out these people. Depression does not care about class, wealth, race, talent, etc. Nobody is immune from depression. One article I read mentioned a very good comparison - "Smoking may be a major cause of lung cancer, but non-smokers can end up with it." Likewise, poverty, homelessness, abuse, drug dependency, etc. may be a factor in depression, but people who are not faced with these issues can end up with it as well. Take myself for instance, I'm not a wealthy, successful celebrity, but I'm also not living on the side of the road scouring the garbage cans for food. I'm just your average, every day girl, and yet I have depression. Depression just is. Some people get it, some people don't and there's no way around it. As the same article pointed out - "a person’s lifestyle doesn’t automatically reduce their suffering. Depression doesn’t work like that. And even if it did, where’s the cut-off point? Who would we consider “too successful” to be ill?"

We should all remember Robin for the joy he brought to our lives, for his ability to make us laugh, for his talent in Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire, Good Will Hunting, Jumanji, What Dreams May Come, Hook and many more films, but hopefully his death will also help send a message; hopefully it'll help change people's attitudes towards depression and mental health, make people more aware of the power of this illness, and ultimately, help end the stigma that surrounds the world of mental health. 

What is Depression?

Unfortunately, depression is something that is often misunderstood. I, myself, never really understood depression until I encountered it firsthand and I think that’s part of the problem. Most members of society are ignorant to the true meaning of depression, so unless you’ve been there, and experienced the depths of depression yourself, it’s impossible to fathom what it really is. I think this problem stems from the fact that society has come to misuse the term ‘depression’. You’ve probably heard people say “I feel depressed today”, maybe you’ve even said that yourself to describe your mood, however there’s a huge difference between an actual illness and just a temporary mood. It’s like using the same word to describe apples and oranges – it’s confusing, and can easily create a whole host of misunderstandings.

If people attribute their mood to ‘feeling depressed’, they may believe that they understand what it feels like to be clinically depressed. But they don’t. I’m not saying people don’t try to understand, many do, I’m just saying that no matter how hard one tries, there still exists a boundary that prevents many people from seeing the entire picture. I think that’s what makes it so hard for those of us suffering from depression to get the help we need. Obviously doctors and counsellors are trained to know the difference between a temporary mood and a clinical state, but if the people treating us haven’t felt the effects of clinical depression themselves, they can only guess at what might make us feel better. Sometimes the treatments they prescribe work and sometimes they don’t. I know for myself, I find it hard to trust the advice of someone who doesn’t exactly ‘get me’ and so I’ve taken it upon myself to be my own cure. What works for me may not work for you, after all we’re two totally different people, but I want to try and help you because unlike someone who has never experienced depression, I deeply and truly understand. I’ve been there before, and I’m currently there now; suffering but determined to overcome.

Those of you dealing with depression or who have dealt with it in the past don’t really need me to define it for you, you already know. But for those of you who may be unsure if what you’re feeling is depression, or if you’re reading this to broaden your knowledge to better understand a friend or family member who is suffering, I’ll do my best to put my feelings into words.

There are different types of depression (which I’ll elaborate on in another post - Types of Depression) but they are categorized by many of the same symptoms. Imagine living your life, you go to school or work each day, you may get stressed from time-to-time, you may have days when you feel sad, you may wish you had more time to indulge in your hobbies, but these feelings pass, and overall you’re happy and you know you’re living a pretty good life. Now imagine waking up one morning and feeling like the weight of the entire world is pushing down on your chest, preventing you from getting up. Your bed is warm, it’s cozy, it’s safe, and nothing can get you there, so that’s where you stay. You start sleeping more, you stop going to school or work – you want to go, but you physically can’t get out of bed and face the day because of this imaginary weight pinning you down. You can’t be bothered to eat, or clean, or shower. Your friends want to hangout, you want to see them, but you blow them off because it just seems like too much effort to get ready and go do something. You lose interest in all the things you used to love – you used to love making crafts, now you stare at your supplies but have no motivation to pick them up and make something, you use to love going for walks outside, but just the thought of stepping out your door seems like a huge chore, it’s easier to just sit at home and let the laziness overcome you. This is depression. A lack of energy, a depressed mood that never lifts, fatigue, lethargy, restlessness and annoyance at the situation you’re in but no motivation to change it, wanting to sleep but sometimes laying awake for hours, a loss of interest in activities / hobbies that were once enjoyable, an inability to concentrate, feeling worthless – this is how people dealing with depression feel on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, thoughts of suicide are also a symptom of depression.  Some people just feel too overwhelmed and believe death is their only escape. Others see themselves as a burden and think that everyone would be better off without them. Although many people may experience these thoughts at one time or another, not everyone reacts on them for a variety of reasons – personal, religious, etc. However, if you or someone you know is experiencing this state of mind, it is important that you seek professional help. Your life is valuable. I know it may seem like there’s no way out but I promise you there is. We’ll get through this together, just believe in yourself, you’re a strong person and I know you can pull through. I believe in you.