Feelings You May Experience If You're Dealing With Depression

Below is a list I created for myself of how I feel on a regular basis. I experience most of these feelings daily, although the severity of the feelings varies from day-to-day. I found it helpful to write all my feelings down – getting everything out of my head and on to paper made me feel less overwhelmed. It’s also great to be able to look at this list from time to time and remind myself that even though I’m struggling, there’s nothing wrong with that, the feelings I’m experiencing are normal for the situation I’m in, and I think recognizing that is an important step in recovery.

I encourage you to make your own list to help yourself better understand the different sensations your body is dealing with. For some of you, creating this list may be easy. Personally, I struggled with it because it was hard for me to accept that this is what I was going through (normally I’d just sweep all my emotions under a rug and forget about them) so this was definitely a good reflection exercise for me. Just remember that there may be things on my list that don’t apply to you and likewise you may be dealing with certain feelings that I haven’t experienced. That’s okay. We’re individuals and that means even though we’re in the same situation we may have slightly different experiences, that’s what makes me, me and you, you. We’re all unique, and you should be proud of who you are.

How I Feel (in no particular order)

• Anxious
• Stressed
• Sore (all my muscles feel heavy and are in physical pain)
• Sad
• Down
• Lonely / alone (even though I know I’m not)
• Like no one understands (even though I know that’s not true)
• Irritable
• Upset
• Indecisive
• Unable to concentrate / distracted
• Like I’m letting people down who are depending on me
• Guilty
• Depressed
• Nervous
• Tired / exhausted
• Burned out
• Unconfident
• Not like myself
• Confused
• Lazy / lethargic
• Overwhelmed
• Unable to sleep at night but then can’t wake up in the mornings
• Restless
• Shy / timid / soft spoken
• Vulnerable
• Easily frustrated
• Scared of conflict
• Emotionally unstable
• Scared
• Lost
• Like my mind is fighting against me every step of the way
• Angry (at other people and at the fact that I struggle so hard at everyday tasks that come so easily to others)
• Trapped

Depression and Stress

One of the major causes of depression, like many other illnesses, is stress. Stress can be defined as our body’s response to a threat, whether it be real or merely perceived.  Stress can be positive such as getting married or having a baby, or it can be negative such as losing a job or the death of a loved one. Both types of stress can overwhelm us and cause health problems if not properly managed.

Being constantly exposed to stress can lead to something called the General Adaptation Syndrome. This includes three stages that people may go through when dealing with a lot of stress and if the stress is not managed properly at the beginning stages, it can lead to depression.

The first stage is the alarm stage. This is your body’s response to a threat. In this stage, your body releases an increase in the hormones cortisol, adrenaline and noradrenaline which leads to the fight or flight response.

The second stage is called the resistance stage. Here your body uses up a lot of cortisol in order to produce more energy so your body can resist the stressor. The problem is that if you’re in this stage for a long period of time then your body is producing an excessive amount of cortisol. This can cause you to feel anxious, tired and have difficulty sleeping since all your energy is devoted to dealing with the stressor.

The final stage is known as the exhaustion stage. This is where your body has produced so much cortisol that it can no longer produce any more, or can only produce a limited amount. Your body has essentially been over-worked and is too exhausted to continue functioning properly. As a result, you may feel fatigued, sluggish, burned out, irritable, cold, sore, more susceptible to illnesses and headaches, have a low sex drive, have a hard time coping, or suffer from depression.

People who reach the exhaustion stage are at risk of becoming depressed because they’ve been exposed to one or more stressors over such a long period of time that their body has depleted all its resources to fight and has essentially just given up, causing the person to feel burned out and depressed.

Another theory of how stress can lead to depression is known as learned helplessness. This is where a person experiences stressful events repeatedly to the point that they feel helpless to change the situation, like they lack the ability to control their own lives. When people start thinking in a negative way like this it can increase their susceptibility to developing depression.

Stress also affects people’s coping mechanisms. When you’re stressed it causes you to have a lower mood which in turn causes you to stop taking part in the activities that you enjoy which ultimately makes you feel worse and decreases your mood even more. This vicious cycle can lead you to feel depressed because the stress is taking over your life, it’s constantly on your mind and it has interrupted your usual outlet for coping.

Some examples of stressful events that may increase a person’s chances of becoming depressed are:

• being in an abusive relationship
• unemployment
• debt
• taking on extra responsibilities at home or work
• choosing a path in life that you aren’t entirely happy with but are scared to change
• going through a transition period in one’s life such as leaving your family home to move out on your own, having a baby, or retiring and having to learn to adjust your lifestyle since you have more time on your hands but a reduction in your finances

It is important to try and find ways to manage or reduce the stress in your life so you don’t start feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, out of control and/or depressed. Some tips are to:

• eat healthy (refined carbs like white bread and sugary foods release insulin which triggers the release of cortisol which causes stress)
• exercise (it helps grow new brain cells and maintain the health of existing ones)
• get at least eight hours of sleep
• do something that makes you happy or relaxes you so you can get your mind off of the stressor
• reduce your caffeine intake since it stimulates the same hormones that increase stress
• try to follow a daily routine to get yourself back on track
• practice deep breathing exercises, yoga, or other forms of meditation

Potential Causes of Depression

Depression can be caused by a variety of things. What causes depression brings up the nature vs. nurture debate, however, both seem to play a role in how people may develop depression. Life experiences, family history, and negative thoughts/attitudes/beliefs/behaviours can all lead to depression. In order to take the appropriate steps to recovery, it’s important to try and pinpoint the cause of your depression.

Here is a list of some potential causes for your consideration:

• Stress
• Genetics
• Lack of sufficient sunlight 
• Socio-economic factors (e.g. low income, prejudice)
• Negative and/or irrational thoughts
• Unhealthy diet
• Living in the past
• Life events (e.g. abusive relationships, traumatic events, divorce, starting at a new school or job)
• Lack of exercise
• Certain health conditions (e.g. stroke, AIDS, cancer)
• Hormone imbalance
• Thyroid imbalance
• The presence of toxic elements in your immune system (e.g. mercury, lead)
• Child birth
• Alcohol and/or drug use
• Side effects from certain medications

If you feel like you might be dealing with depression, you can check out my articles What is Depression?, Types of Depression and Symptoms of Depression for more info.

Other Mental Health Illnesses

In my last couple of posts, I’ve differentiated between the different types of depression and the different types of anxiety disorders. Here I’ll describe a couple other common mental health illnesses.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

OCD causes a person to have intrusive thoughts or urges (obsessions) that cause them a lot of anxiety. Many people then have to repeat certain behaviours (compulsions) to try and eradicate the anxiety. From my own experience, I often feel like I have to do my compulsion over and over again until it feels right.

Some common examples of compulsions are feeling compelled to continuously wash ones hands; to move things around until they’re ordered in a certain way; to touch things over and over; to check stoves, door or car locks, or light switches; or to constantly be cleaning things. OCD causes a severe disruption to a person’s life since they spend so much time focusing on and their mind is constantly dwelling on their obsessions. Many people dealing with OCD know that their compulsions are irrational and yet they aren’t able to stop these behaviours or routines.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

PTSD results from the occurrence of a previous trauma. Some common events that can lead to PTSD are: rape, abuse, natural disasters, fighting in the military or a serious accident. A person does not have to experience the traumatic event themselves in order to suffer from PTSD, sometimes witnessing a loved one going through such a distressing event is enough to cause this illness.

People who suffer from PTSD have an extremely difficult time getting over these incidents and it causes them to be anxious and depressed for months or even years after the event occurred. These people may experience flashbacks or nightmares of the event that reinforces the anxiety and depression they are experiencing. Others may avoid any type of activity that reminds them of the event. People suffering from PTSD often feel on-edge, disconnected, irritable, have a hard time feeling emotions and experience trouble sleeping.

Schizophrenia

People who suffer from schizophrenia tend to have disordered thoughts and speech, meaning they have a hard time communicating with other people. They often lose their train of thought and thus their sentences are not formed and instead come out like just a jumble of words. They feel strange and don’t really understand the world around them. People with schizophrenia may experience periods of psychosis in which they lose the ability to tell what is real and what isn’t. This is categorized by hallucinations (hearing, seeing or smelling things that aren't really there - e.g. hearing voices that aren’t real) and/or delusions (believing things that aren't true - e.g. thinking they have superpowers).

People with schizophrenia experience a loss of motivation, a hard time concentrating, a lack of interest in activities and exhibit trouble completing tasks. Schizophrenia causes people to feel isolated so they withdraw and it disrupts their social functioning, making it hard for them to carry on relationships, work or go to school. If someone suffers from schizophrenia, there is an increased chance that they suffer from other mental health illnesses like anxiety or depression as well.  

There are many other types of mental health illnesses that I have not mentioned here, such as eating disorders, personality disorders, ADD or ADHD and dementia. I have not gone into detail on these because I simply am not as knowledgeable on them as I am with the other illnesses I’ve listed. For more information on the different types of mental health illnesses you can visit the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) website.